If you’re reading this, then you’ve probably had the bad experience of hitting it off with a particularly great guy who also liked you a lot, only to have the relationship end because he “wanted to stay single.” The situations vary widely, but it ultimately boils down to him giving you an almost weird excuse to end the relationship.
It’s sad to see this happen to so many women. For them, it’s even baffling. After all, if they could succeed in all other aspects of life, how come they fail miserably when looking for a healthy, long-term relationship with a good man?
The truth is, what you do has a much bigger impact on his desire and preparedness to commit than what you are. You can be the most charming, sophisticated, intelligent woman in the world, but it won’t help you one bit if you’re making a few mistakes that turn him off.
The funny thing is that these mistakes are often made unconsciously. These are ideas, traits, and reactions that you picked up in past relationships that didn’t go so well. Give me a nod when any of the three following mistakes sound familiar to you:
Believing that men don’t know what they want. Having a boyfriend who at first acted madly in love with you, only to tell you later that he’s not ready for a relationship, can give you the impression that men don’t know what they want. Actually, it’s not just women who can change their minds – men can change how they feel in the middle of the relationship too. Believing that men don’t know what they want can make you approach a relationship cautiously – sometimes too cautiously that it makes him wonder if something’s wrong with you.
Believing that men can’t be trusted. Having had a bad relationship in the past can disillusion you enough to think that men can’t be trusted. As a result, you tend to be suspicious of any man you start dating. You can call it “being careful,” but being too careful can backfire on you. You may not know it, but men can sense that you’re uncomfortable or suspicious of you – and it’s a huge turnoff for them.
Believing that men don’t make any sense. As I’ve mentioned before, it’s easy to think that if you’re able to succeed in all other aspects in life, then men shouldn’t be so hard to figure out. Unfortunately, men aren’t that simple – they can’t be simplified into “to-do lists” and “eight simple rules.” There’s a world of difference between dealing with your career and dealing with your boyfriend, so if you deal with them like they were one in the same, it won’t be long before you get tired of each other – just like a mundane day job.
What do these three deadly beliefs have in common? Just the fact that you act out your beliefs without you knowing it. Even if you don’t say anything rude, men can feel what you believe through your actions, your words, or demeanor. If you’d like to keep from turning him off by accident, free yourself from these negative beliefs and be more open to starting a relationship on a clean slate.